Poets: Booing is for Ghosts & Hissing is for Snakes

My courage is paper-thin.
Photo Credit: Tasha Simons

A stage is a magical place. All at once, you are naked to the audience, who views you while you cannot see them; but the stage is also a location of great power, allowing a performer to armor himself or herself with the performance. The greatest performances coat a universal vulnerability with a thin layer of bravado; speaker connects with listener and they feel each other.

I find this true of myself when I step onto a platform and voluntarily do the very thing I hate: speak in front of people. Yet, I love performing poetry. I am not the same me. The atmosphere takes hold of my vocal chords and ratchets up a level of volume far above my usual whisper. When I’m doing it right, vulnerability is backseat passenger to my bravado.

There are yet chinks in this armor. If the audience stares lifelessly, I falter. The words so well rehearsed slink across the plains of memory into the hinterlands of forgetfulness. The more naked I feel, the colder the stage.

In great open mic or slam environments, the host sets the thermostat to a warm, welcoming temperature. No matter how kooky the poet, no matter how pedantic the rhyme scheme, no matter how long-winded the preamble to the song about nothing: if stages were made to be inhospitable (by audience or host), no one would overrule their better judgment and bare themselves in front of strangers.

For this reason, the reports of booing and hissing a poet onstage at the 2013 National Poetry Slam grieved me.

Booing and hissing is historically allowed, according to the history of slam. But it is not in the vein of “slamily.” We say, “Applaud the poet, not the score.” “Boo the score, applaud the poem.” “Respect the mic.”

Nowhere in this do I find implicit permission to boo a poet for unrelated issues. Even when the poet is an awful human being, offstage beef stays there. The stage is safe space, protected to ensure that necessary vulnerability is not violated. A hiss snakes into a performer’s carefully donned courage and injects fear. Booing is a sucker punch from a ghost veiled in darkness. There is no difference between this and heckling.

Many poets have expressed they don’t care that the targeted poet’s teammates were hurt by the audience (mostly poets) booing them during their performance. “Three minutes and ten seconds of shame is nothing compared to the lifetime of pain dealt to assaulted women.”

To this, I say, the term “sacrificial poets” never meant we should treat people like disposable bout sheets we scratch on until the final score is tallied. A wound is a wound. No person is dispensable.

I would rather have a bucket of ice dumped on my naked skin than to endure booing and hissing from a frigid audience. At least ice melts.

Wrapping Up #31writenow with a Bow

Isn’t it purty?

If you haven’t noticed, I have written a blog post for almost every day in the month of August. I never quite explained what I was doing, so this is a retroactive Prologue to my shenanigans.

Humor blogger Awesomely Luvvie started a 31-day blog challenge that encouraged fellow bloggers to write something on their sites every day. I randomly joined without much fanfare, but I would formally like to give Luvvie credit for the #31writenow hashtag you may have seen in my tag cloud.

I’ve encountered some great writers via Twitter, WordPress, Tumblr, and Blogspot. Mosey on over my new favorite expat blogs, Jive Turkish and Expatriate Games; or look up the fly gals P. Braithwaite and Stacy Australia, who write about relationships and common sense! There were too many to list them all, but you can find them by searching #31writenow on your favorite search engine (which better be Google).

I want to thank you guys for rocking with me for nearly 31 days! It truly is a challenge to present something post-worthy every time. (I hope I’ve succeeded!) I started this blog in May and it’s been a fun ride since.

I normally post three times a week unless inspiration strikes and I just have to post something right away. You will probably see me theorizing on nerdy humor, literacy and writing, and the colorful aspects of (my black) life. I hope you’ll stick around or at least stick your head in and say hello from time to time. I’ll be here, still writing reckless acts of punctuation.

What were your favorite #31writenow blogs? Shout them out!  

Yay! The Decatur Book Festival is here!

BOOKS!
BOOKS!

I was the girl who did happy dances at book fairs. Whose mother rewarded her summer book reading…with more books. Who considered books an appropriate birthday, Christmas, wedding, anytime-you-wanna-say-I-love-you gift. I even trawled the campus bookstore buying up the interesting required books from other classes (sorry, Florida State!)

Needless to say, my particular brand of nerd is Book Nerd.

One of the reasons I love Atlanta is because every season is packed with so many festivals to choose from. This weekend is no different; the nerdtastic sci-fi conference DragonCon is from August 30 to September 2.

But the peach of an event I’m excited to attend is the AJC Decatur Book Festival, which kicks off today though September 1 in downtown Decatur. This will be my first year diving headlong into the fray since I’ve been a resident of the Atlanta metro area. If the thought of a three-day book fair does not curl your right pinkie toe, you probably should stop reading now. It gets mushier.

Certainly, there will be author readings and books. But also, poetry organization Java Monkey Speaks is hosting a poetry reading every 15 minutes for the entire weekend. (I think I just peed myself typing that.) The festival hosts panel discussions, writer workshops, open markets, and so many other great nerd activities.

Plus, downtown Decatur is such a fabulous place to walk around and breathe air and eat and feel like a hip hipster in the middle of a fellow book-lovers. I was just in the area last weekend and had a ball doing all of the above. I can’t wait to go back.

If you’re an Atlanta local, are you going to the Decatur Book Festival? What great festival are you looking forward to in your city? 

All Because Two People Went to FSU (and then fell in love)

My home (Florida) and my love. Photo credit: Zekeshem Parsons of Celebrations of Tampa Bay, Inc.

Four years ago today I married the first black scientist I ever met. Lucky for me, he digs English majors. Go Noles. Go us. Happy anniversary to my black alchemist!

Why Did I Get Married (In the Key of Tyler Perry)

I married you for the day you came home:

“My boss told me they wouldn’t be paying us today”

I lived for that embrace, that enfolding of arms into faith

I walked down the aisle because you peered into my grandma’s casket

and nodded your respect, even though you never tasted

her candy apples or heard her silvery voice mispronounce your name

I married you for the hours we go without speaking,

room Porterhouse thick with tension, waiting for the other to cut the silence

I married you because you passed me Kleenex and no judgment

when my best friend tried to commit suicide

And when I chipped my front tooth, you kept a straight face

so mine wouldn’t crumple in tears, kissed me and pronounced me beautiful

Because it’s not the pitch-perfect album experiences

but the spaces in between that shape the melody of our lives

and I married you, my love, for the music of that journey.

Tales from the B-side of a Skinny Twerker

Which makes it official that we need a new word.

At age 14, I loved dirty dancing. We called it booty shaking back then. But I weighed less than 100 lbs and not much was shaking on me but bones.

I would watch my summer camp friends dance while, in the corner, I twitched in a pattern that imitated rhythm to stay unnoticed. The girls practiced in groups the sexy moves I attempted behind locked doors and they were convincing at it. All smooth curves and dips.

Back home, I lacked the examples to learn from and the crew to break it down.  But I couldn’t get kudos plastered against the wall, so I joined their dance sessions for brownie points.

One evening, we turned on girl group Xscape and booty shook, hip rolled, wined, and pelvic-ground ourselves into giggles and “ooh, get it girl” cheers.  My toes gripped the shag carpet nervously as I watched, half-hoping they wouldn’t call me up.

“Dara, it’s your turn,” one girl encouraged.

“Aw, really?”

“Yeah, go, go!”

And so I went. Hands gripping my knees, I did the pop-lock-Tootsie-Roll-robot. Spurred by the obligatory “Gone, girl,” I dropped into unfamiliar territory and took it to the ground. Grinding hip against floor, I tried not to look at the girls’ faces for approval.

This type of dance was a both a spectator sport and a personal art; you had to own your zone, delve so intently into the imaginary boy you danced with that your face set with hard concentration. Oh, I was working that floor, almost feeling confident, when the door opened and our group leader stepped into the room.

My pelvis froze, as did my face, hips, knees, and then unfroze as I scrambled up, pulling my pajama shirt down my legs.  I locked my hands behind my back, apple-cheeked while the other girls struggled with warring smiles on their faces.

That was the last time I twerked in public.

This is the part where I don’t mention Miley Cyrus aping black culture. 

Miley’s name is currently infamous due to her version of the skinny twerk. Her crime was not in appropriating blackness; no, no, Miley simply was not convincing enough. She did not own any zone. Her very butt cheeks sought escape from the pleather sausage casing she squeezed into.

But who owns twerking? A panel of experts convened on my Facebook page and determined that the requirement is 53% donk, 37% skill, and 10% African juju. (See: Ciara, who narrowly misses twerking by a 6% margin of no body fat.) Skinny girls of any race, per the respondents, need not rattle their bones in attempt. Clearly, Miley is lacking in all three categories, therefore she pulled off more jerk than twerk.

The formula also excludes me, as I am poor of donk, bereft of skill, and possess, at best, 2% African juju to allocate toward twerking. But I am not too old to remember the glee of making your body jump to a throbbing bass line. In respect for humankind, I have relegated my b-side (backside) antics to my living room, where only my Mini Schnauzer can howl his offense.

I suggest Miley do the same.

Can we agree that twerk is a dumb word? How do you feel about it?