Jealousy and Other ‘Female Traits’

Just no. Not even a little bit.

“Males shouldn’t be jealous; that’s a female trait” —Jay-Z

It’s not hard to tell that ‘a female trait,’ by Shawn Carter’s reckoning, is not something that a male would want to have. Simple psychology would’ve told him that men experience jealousy, too. Despite the fact that rappers (and their verses) are made of 15% truth, 59% BS and 26% cotton, I’ve heard men actually regurgitate the above line as fact.

Come to think about it, I’ve never heard any positive sentence followed by “like a woman.” Only negative connotations coupled with derogatory euphemisms for women.  “He’s ranting on Twitter, acting like a b*tch/woman/p*ssy!” No, he’s acting like a salty man. Because he is one. 

Whenever I’m having a conversation and I hear those words, anger melts my smile off my face. It’s a conversation-ender for me. In a nutshell:

Women do not hold a patent on emotions; men express them, too. 

I have extremely little patience for explaining to people that logic and emotion are not mutually exclusive, that men and women exhibit both in different situations. When a woman screams and yells at her boyfriend to listen to her, she’s emotional; but when a guy screams at his 48″ TV, “He was FOULED!” he’s just a sports fan?

As Jay-Z also said, We don’t believe you; you need more people.

Given the dismal image “like a woman” usually projects, I thought it would be fun to start a personal revolution of sorts. Maybe the reason I’ve never heard a positive statement ending in the phrase is because I’ve never said one.

Here’s my little list. Feel free to join me and add your own affirmations in the comment box, or tweet me your lines using the #LikeAWoman hashtag.

What do you do #LikeAWoman? 

I love fiercely and deeply #LikeAWoman

My family knows they can count on me to take care of them #LikeAWoman

I make logical decisions and choices for my life #LikeAWoman

If anybody threatens me, I will fight just #LikeAWoman

I split infinitives and spit definitive truth onstage #LikeAWoman

I occupy ALL rooms (not just the kitchen) #LikeAWoman

Yes, I’m complicated, #LikeAWoman, but there’s no such thing as a simple man, either

I would move heaven and bust hell open for my sisters #LikeAWoman

I laugh from the wells of my belly #LikeAWoman

My mama taught me not to take no mess #LikeAWoman

I walk with sugar in my sway and spikes on my heels #LikeAWoman

I write #LikeAWoman 

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9 thoughts on “Jealousy and Other ‘Female Traits’

  1. Misogyny is rampant in the language of men. And, it’s so engrained most don’t even realize what they’re saying. I especially hate when men associate complaining and whining with women. Men are the biggest complainers and whiners on the planet!

    Great affirmations!

  2. Hip-Hop is an immature culture even 30+ years later. Rap is still a member-measuring contest, guy’s night out talk recorded to instrumentation. But, the artists, for the most part, are completely full of sh… These guys spew ignorance for a living then return home to their wives and plush homes, where the atmosphere is the complete opposite. But, that’s why I champion the likes of Drake and Wale who aren’t afraid to express their honest viewpoints and vulnerability when it comes to the better sex. It’s taking time, but they’re winning more and more fans over with their originality. Sooner or later, men will just have to admit that women are running the show.

    1. I push for the day when no one necessarily has to run the show, but recognize that it’s a co-pilot job.

      I loved Wale’s first effort, Attention Deficit. That album had so much poetry and depth to it. His songs with Maybach Music Group largely annoy, especially since I find Rick Ross to be vacuous and unworthy of his bombastic voice. hmph.

      I wonder, though, if the materialism in hip-hop is inextricable. I can’t relate to that, because I’m not big on aspiration-as-life-purpose…

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